Recently, a brave group of students dared to challenge the changing environment on campus that has grown increasingly hostile to students who smoke.
As of January 2016, University Administration took a page right out of the book of infamous anti-smoker, Adolf Hitler, and instituted a fascist campus-wide ban on America's beloved pastime. The decrees of the Non-Fuming Fuhrer did not target just cigarettes, but all tobacco products, electronic cigarettes, huffable spray paint, crystal meth, cocaine, crack cocaine, uncracked cocaine, diet cocaine, ecstasy, molly, marijuana, mary jane, weed, pot, chief keef, PCP, angel dust, purple drank, and slim jims.

The courageous leader of the "Solidarity Smokers" released a manifesto detailing their plan: 

"Whether or not you are a smoker, you probably agree that President Stanley has gone too far in imposing a campus-wide ban, not only on cigarettes, but ALL tobacco products, even electronic cigarettes (effective January 2016). While I understand the reasons behind this new "smoke-free policy," I can't respect a President who feels the need to impose a lifestyle on everyone, especially those students living on campus who are habitual smokers and have literally nowhere on campus to enjoy their tobacco products of choice in peace. I respect the decision to not smoke, but not when it's a decision made for me. Frankly, it's un-American."

(see the full statement here: http://heyevent.com/event/qfzrnypywoeqoa/safe-space-formerly-solidarity-smoke-in)

The tyrannical rule of President Stanley and his thugs in USG will be resisted at all costs by these brave rebels, and we will continue to be the voice of reason at this institution. #Trump2016

​After enduring a hate-filled campus environment for years, our beloved mascot, Wolfie the ACTUAL Seawolf has had enough. As recently as the last football game Wolfie fell victim to blatant cultural appropriation as students repeatedly chanted, “What’s a Seawolf?” only to reply, “I’m A Seawolf” though the stadium was almost entirely seated by human fans. Things only became worse as the game progressed as the insensitive audience lost all sense of civility and began shouting racial slurs. When asked, “Seawolves, what is your profession?” the reply was only mocking Wolfie’s native language with “AWOO AWOO AWOO”, which Wolfie claimed was nothing but absolute gibberish making no sense in his native tongue. 

Formally filing a complaint against Stony Brook University Administration, Wolfie has detailed the ongoing insensitivity and micro-aggressions he sees being promoted throughout the student body, not only by students, but shockingly by professors and athletic staff as well, who are all disturbingly comfortable wearing clothing which Wolfie claims depicts racist caricatures him and other Seawolves.

In what can only be described as a brutal death march not seen since the days of Imperial Japan in World War II, hundreds if not thousands of students were lined up around the Student Activity Center under the belief that they would receive delicious strawberries in a timely and orderly manner.
Underestimating the sheer volume and determination of students, Campus Dining was forced to abandon their stations upon the exhaustion of supplies and workers before notifying those remaining in line.
What was once a proud student community center, the SAC is nothing more than a morbid shadow of its former self, surrounded by the bones and dying bodies of the students still waiting, who foolishly clung to the idea of hope and strawberries

Show your school spirit and cheer* for the Seawolves this Saturday at the homecoming game!

*Those who fail to show the appropriate amount of school spirit will be arrested by the University Fun Police and be personally paddled by Wolfie until they can feel the magic of Stony Brook. 
School spirit is MANDATORY

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all throughout campus,
a creature was stirring: the demon named Krampus.

Oh and his friend Black Pete, but beware of his race,
for he's actually white, but disguised in blackface!