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Restroom Vandal Caught, Charged With Plagiarism

10/26/2015

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A student was caught and arrested this weekend by University Police in the act of vandalizing a men's restroom.  What disgusted the Campus Police officers most was not the vulgar language and images smeared on the walls, nor was it the the copious amounts of human excrement used by the vandal to carry out his crimes, but rather it was the heretical display of plagiarism and improper citation by the bathroom bandit that made the officers cringe with disgust. The University Art Department was asked for their expertise in the matter as investigators believed the crude drawing or a penis on the wall was not original, but a blatant copy of the work of a previous unrelated vandal in a different bathroom.
As for the charge of improper citation, various professors and librarians were able to confirm after hours of research that there was no such researcher published in academic journals named "Deez Nuts".
President Stanley commented on the matter to remind the students that Stony Brook University is super serious when it comes to academic dishonesty, and plagiarism will not be tolerated.
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