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'Twas the week before Christmas, and all throughout campus,
a creature was stirring: the demon named Krampus. Oh and his friend Black Pete, but beware of his race, for he's actually white, but disguised in blackface! Sun disappears from the sky and panic spreads throughout campus. Astronomy professors plead for their lives, claiming the sun will rise again in about 15 hours as an angry mob of students prepare to sacrifice them to the gods. USG consults local witch doctors for answers.
UPDATE: The Stony Brook Enquirer is proud to report the return of the beloved sun, and would like to take the time to remember the astronomy professors who selflessly gave their lives to bring it back.  The Stony Brook Enquirer brings our valued readers the inside scoop on upcoming events!
Using our sophisticated image analysis techniques, our team of experts have cracked the code on USG at Stony Brook University's announcement. We can say with complete confidence that upcoming lecturers will be Jim Carrey and Susan Boyle! |
AuthorThen the Lord asked him, "What is your name?" Categories
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