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The stony brook enquirer!
kneel before zod

Students Missing and Wolfie Hoards Fresh Meat as Blizzard Approaches

3/13/2017

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It looks like winter won't be leaving Long Island without a fight this year as weather services warn of an impending blizzard to hit the area over the next few days. The University has begun preparations for the snow storm as it has asked all non-essential personnel to stay home during the expected snowfall. But as for those remaining on campus, its time to bundle up and settle down like our beloved Wolfie is doing in order to wait out the storm. Wolfie has shown the campus the true spirit of preparedness as demonstrated by his impressive cache of fresh meat to fill his carnivorous appetite during what may be an unexpected prolonged hibernation. Though the full might of the storm has yet to hit campus, it has already seemed to have claimed its first few victims as several students were reported missing.
When asked about the missing students, Wolfie stated, "It is a terrible shame that such young, tender- *burp*- and well-seasoned souls would be consumed by the storm so early. We can only hope that they found their way back to their homes safely." 
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