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The stony brook enquirer!
kneel before zod

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

3/17/2015

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Stony Brook Environmental Health and Safety would like to inform students remaining on campus for spring break that the green water coming out of the drinking fountains is NOT in celebration of St. Patrick's Day, and that the issues are being dealt with and should be resolved as soon as possible.
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Students With Good Internet Connection Not Impressed With "50 Shades of Grey"

3/5/2015

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The highly anticipated erotic thriller "50 Shades of Grey" was met with a lukewarm response from college movie-goers. Some fraternity members even expressed outrage, demanding a refund from theaters claiming that there was much better stuff online for free, let alone $12.
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See No Snow, Hear No Snow, Speak No Snow

3/1/2015

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Do not try and shovel the snow. That is impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth: there is no snow.
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    Then the Lord asked him, "What is your name?" 
    "My name is The Stony Brook Enquirer," he replied, "for we are many."

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