Fiscal cliff deal reached. House Speaker John Boehner to give up tanning bed if Vice Pres. Biden stops watching Spongebob.
President Stanley denies allegations of pouring millions of student and taxpayer dollars into secret 2012 personal bunker.
In other news, construction on the Stony Brook Hilton hotel completed it's 5-mile deep "wine cellar".
Then the Lord asked him, "What is your name?"