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kneel before zod

Student Makes Hillarious Penis Joke About Wang Center

5/2/2016

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When Stony Brook Residential Safety Program (RSP) members were called to help an inebriated group of students back to their dorm last night, they did not expect one of the students to show such creative charm and humor in his intoxicated stupor.
Unaware that it was 3:00 AM, one of the students said she was hungry and asked if the Jasmine food court at the Wang Center was open, only to have the RSP escort remind the group of the time and that Jasmine was closed.
It was at this moment that one charming individual among the group stated, "Don't worry babe, MY Wang Center is always open!" 
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The masculine confidence that radiated from our drunken hero reached levels never seen before in campus history and it was greeted with high-fives that broke the sound barrier from other bros in the group.
President Stanley himself was awoken as the sonic boom from preceding fist bumps shattered the windows of his pimped-out Seawolf's Den Mansion, only for our Dank President to stick his head out of the broken glass and shout "DAMN STRAIGHT SON!" in a show of approval. 

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