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The stony brook enquirer!
kneel before zod

Students Still Waiting In Line For Strawberry Fest

5/7/2015

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In what can only be described as a brutal death march not seen since the days of Imperial Japan in World War II, hundreds if not thousands of students were lined up around the Student Activity Center under the belief that they would receive delicious strawberries in a timely and orderly manner.
Underestimating the sheer volume and determination of students, Campus Dining was forced to abandon their stations upon the exhaustion of supplies and workers before notifying those remaining in line.
What was once a proud student community center, the SAC is nothing more than a morbid shadow of its former self, surrounded by the bones and dying bodies of the students still waiting, who foolishly clung to the idea of hope and strawberries

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    Then the Lord asked him, "What is your name?" 
    "My name is The Stony Brook Enquirer," he replied, "for we are many."

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