a creature was stirring: the demon named Krampus.
Oh and his friend Black Pete, but beware of his race,
for he's actually white, but disguised in blackface!
who then saw Black Pete and said, "The fuck you got there?!"
The hipsters ganged up, on Black Pete as a team,
but thought Krampus was awesome, 'cause he wasn't mainstream.
"Let me help!" Said Krampus, as he pulled out some chains,
and large wooden branches, to beat out Pete's brain!
As the mob approached Pete, he came to admission,
that his friggin costume was a stupid tradition.
Pete desperately said, "Can't we all love each other?!"
The mob answered back, "Wrong neighborhood motherfucker!"
As the beating began, what did they all hear?
Why the sound of sleigh bells, for Santa was near!
"Oh thank God I'm saved!" cried Black Pete with a grin,
"Santa must have seen the shit I was in!"
Stepping off his sleigh, Santa's step had some funk
then it became clear that St. Nick was piss drunk.
"Wassup Krampus", said Santa, "But now, down to business"
"Who the fuck would put on blackface for Christmas?!"
"Come with me, Pete, and I'll show you the way,
for racism has no place on Christmas day!"
So Santa took off, with Black Pete riding shotgun
leaving the mob angry, for they did not feel done.
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" Santa shouted as he flew right on by,
but sleigh bells were not the only things in the sky
The mob then looked up and heard the screech of a jet.
It turns out the Air Force was not done with them yet.
'Fox-one' Santa heard over the radio chatter.
Missile or animal? He hoped it was the latter
A fiery sleigh was the last thing the mob saw.
The crowd was left speechless and were all left in awe.
Several days, and a thousand miles later,
Santa woke up somewhere near the equator.
No longer in red, but now orange suits,
his mitten's were gone, and so were his boots.
A man dressed in black, then walked into the cell,
and then turned to Santa and said, "You look well!"
"I'm agent Bob, I'm with the N.S.A.,
and I'm here to say welcome to Guantanamo Bay!"