In science news, the physics department announces the creation of the first fully-functional time machine. Dr. Pavel explained that a subject that entered the machine for 3 hours has emerged 3 hours into the future, marking the first time a subject has successfully traveled to the future after the acceptable loss of only 3 asian volunteers in previous attempts. In the spirit of scientific advancement, blueprints were made publicly available without the filing of any patents. (seen below)
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