After 8 shots of Jameson and half a bottle of Bailey's Irish cream, a group of students were full of the holiday spirit and rediscovered their Irish heritage by signing up for a free trial of Ancestry.com. Students tracing back their lineage realized that their names sound unmistakably Irish or Gaelic with only minor changes to the spelling. New-found Irish students Priya McPatel, and Xi-Fong O'Chang embraced their long-lost culture by taking part in the sacred tradition of wearing green and buying the cheapest shots of whiskey at the bar at 9 AM. Other recently aware Irish students such as Mordecai O'Goldbergowitzsky and Juan McRodriguez spread their Irish spirit around campus by dying the Roth Pond green, by first drinking the green dye in beer, then vomiting into the water after 6 pints and a jager bomb.
Then the Lord asked him, "What is your name?"