ANONYMOUS HACKS STONY BROOK
Yesterday afternoon, Stony Brook University internet and communication networks were crippled by a distributed denial-of-service (DDoS) attack, shutting down or hampering network access throughout the main campus. Students were panicking as they were unable to procrastinate by going on facebook or stalk their cute history classmate's instagram photos throughout the day. In an act of desperation some students dared to bring up the unheard of idea to actually study during the internet outage. All we can say is that the attacks were probably brought on by the rogue internet vigilante hacker group known as Anonymous aka "4chan" or some sophisticated systems administrator.
Then the Lord asked him, "What is your name?"